Caring is Key
Does My Child Really Want Advice?
Sometimes we are ready to offer solutions to our children before they're ready to receive them. In fact, many times children share problems with us because they want sympathy, not solutions. If you move into a problem-solving mode too early, you will get resistance from your child.
Try to discern whether your child is ready to hear some possible solutions. Asking permission is an excellent way to do that. "Would you like an idea?" "Would you like to hear how other people might solve that problem?" If you launch into solutions before a child is ready, you will find yourself getting frustrated at the child's lack of responsiveness to your suggestions. A simple question can open the door for permission to offer solutions.
By the way dads, you might also try this on your wife. Those who are problem-solvers need to recognize that sometimes people present a problem just because they want to be cared for, not because they don't have answers. Your wife or child may be fully capable of solving the problem. But first she or he just wants a listening ear.
It's not enough to have answers to people's problems. We also must be sensitive enough to know what is needed in the situation. Resist the temptation to offer solutions until you sense your child is ready to hear them.
This idea was taken from the book, Home Improvement: Eight Tools for Effective Parenting, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.