Everyone's Doing It
Everyone's Doing It
Has your child ever come to you and made the statement "Everyone's doing it," to get you to give in to a request? Children use all kinds of tactics to get permission for things parents would rather not say yes to. Keep these three things in mind when you are challenged with that statement.
- First, sometimes kids believe that appropriate behavior is determined by the culture. Rather, the rules you set up are based upon the values you hold. Different families have different values so as parents we need to decide what values and convictions we are going to use to determine the rules and expectations for our own families.
- Secondly, not everyone else is doing it. There are many families that set guidelines similar to or even more strict than yours. Children have a tendency to find more permissive families to compare themselves to so they can ask for more.
- Thirdly, recognize that this question is a manipulative technique. It makes us feel like we're depriving our kids of something. Parenting is hard work and too many parents are unwilling to take a stand for what's right and for values that are wholesome and healthy.
Don't let your children push your buttons with the statement, "Everyone's doing it." Instead, use the opportunity to teach them about your convictions and the values behind the rules you set.
This idea was taken from the Audio CD series, "Eight Secrets to Highly Effective Parenting," by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.