Vineyard Church North Phoenix | Be Careful How You Help

Be Careful How You Help

Parents can sometimes accomplish more by doing less. That is, by helping children take responsibility for their own actions and decisions, experience can be the teacher, and the parent becomes the counselor or coach. Many parents don't realize the benefit of allowing children to experience the consequences of their actions. Wanting to spare their children frustration in life, they sometimes step in unnecessarily, but by rescuing them they may be robbing them of an excellent way to learn.

When you see your child experiencing frustration, do you step in and solve the problem? The parent who says, "Here, let me do it," may relieve the frustration but miss a good teaching opportunity. Frustration often provides motivation to a child and a parent's patient coaching can help a child experience the success of accomplishing a goal or overcoming a roadblock.

Unfortunately, it's hard to watch a frustrated child, especially when you know you have the answers or solutions. It's painful to endure five minutes of a four-year-old trying to tie his shoe, or torture to hear an eight-year-old talk about how she can't find her shoes. Before you step in and solve the problem and be the hero, you may want to ask yourself if this is one of those times when you might allow life to be the teacher and you become the counselor or coach.

Your words of encouragement often provide the fuel to continue on or the energy to persevere. Relieving the frustration might not be the best goal and your willingness to encourage may accomplish more in the long run.

This idea was taken from the book, Home Improvement: Eight Tools for Effective Parenting, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.